Being new parents can be scary. Everyone is giving you advice and you’re not sure where to turn. It’s okay. That’s normal. In this video, Christina Im encourages new parents that it’s okay to not know everything.
Christina Im is a social worker and a current stay-at-home-mom. She and her husband, Daniel Im, host the IMbetween podcast that provides conversations on marriage, parenting, faith, and everything in between.
The entire video is above, and the complete transcript is below.
Alright new parents, I am talking to you now. So we’ve had the question lots of times: What do we need to know as new parents? Well, there’s a couple of things.
First, everyone is going to have an opinion. That includes your mom, your dad, your grandma, your next-door-neighbor, the lady in the restaurant who sees you pregnant and wants to touch your belly. She’s going to have an opinion too. And guess what? It’s wonderful and they probably have some really good things to say.
But remember, even the experts don’t really know what they’re talking about, in the sense that they don’t have your child, they don’t have your personality, they don’t have your spouse’s personality, they’re not living in the same place that you are.
So take what you can completely. Take the information in that you can. But honestly, be able to say, “Thank you, but no thank you.” or “Thank you and we will consider it.”
One of my best friends is a psychologist and she says, “Christina, I know everything there is to know. I have spent 10 years studying and I don’t even know what to do with my own kids.”
So if a psychologist doesn’t even really know what to do, be free in the sense that it is okay to not know what you are doing. It is okay to ask for help. And it is also okay to really be, like, let’s try this. And if it doesn’t work, it’s not going to work, and that’s it.
We have three kids. I’ll give you this quick example. They all have different sleeping patterns. This is a big thing, right? Trying to decide like, what are we going to do? Are we going to do the cooing method? Are we going to let the baby cry and leave the room? All of that.
We have three kids. All three of them have had completely different sleeping patterns. Our first child, I think she had colic. I’m not really sure. But I think she did and so she didn’t really sleep. And that was okay. Number two, she sleep-trained herself guys! Six weeks and she was out. 12 hours. Like that. Our third child, y’all he’s four and he still sleeps in our bed. Yes, we co-sleep because he sneaks in and we don’t even know.
So, all that to say, you know what? Everyone has their own opinion. God has given you these beautiful, beautiful children to be able to pray for them and to really ask for wisdom from Him and from other people. And really reading books and deciding what is going to work for each child.